I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
