Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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