Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
