would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
