nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
