If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
50% drunk capacity currently
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
