Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
