shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
