So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
