I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
