This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
