He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
