it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Randomize
