What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
