Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sext me about skeletons
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
