Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize