Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
