i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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