i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Please don't give away my fajitas
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
