his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
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