remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
