some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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