Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
