Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Can I color on your dick again?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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