Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
