The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
