I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
