What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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