I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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