why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
