I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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