I hate all girls vehemently.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
