What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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