I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
