Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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