Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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