yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
