i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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