is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
