Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
