Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
