And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
