I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
