a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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