i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
