If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
