i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We got so high we made milksteak
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
