Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
