if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
