Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
