I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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