Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
