I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
