I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
