quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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