I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
