So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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