They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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