I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize