Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
