Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
