she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize