You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
