where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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