Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
