Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize